[Pauly]

Hey everyone my names Paul and ive been playing drums for 10 years and im in desperate need of help and advice, if someone could please take the time to read this thread it would be greatly appreciated, thanks

Recently i've have no inspiration to play my drums due to many things.

Since i stopped having lessons 4 years ago i've been in several bands. Nothing serious, just with a few of my mates. I noticed the more i played in my bands the more confident i became and i could introduce what i had learnt into my playing. However ive hit a barrier which i cant seem to breakthrough, im not happy with my drumming anymore, i cant see any improvement. I dont know what to practice, theres so many techniques and styles i want to learn and i just dont know where to begin... i find now that my lack of lessons has made me a lazy drummer and i go through phases of practicing rudiments non stop for a week before i lose interest again, even though i can see improvement i get distracted by things like neighbours coming over and having a go at me for playing my drums and it just puts me down.

about 8 months ago i applied to do a degree in jazz drumming. I realised too late that i was not prepared for it.. i mean what was i thinking, i barely play jazz at all. I was just caught up in my dream of becoming an amazing drummer i was oblivious... When i failed to get in it hit me incredibly hard and ive been extremely depressed about playing my drums since. A year ago i decided i needed lessons and went to find a teacher. After being assesed by a decent professional and finding out i couldnt even play in time to a click track i just turned my back on it and denied that i was that bad..and i now realise what a mistake that was.

What makes it worse is how everyone says i have so much talent for the kit and how good i am.. it makes it 100 times worse when a person says how bloody awesome you are.. and you know that you dont even put any work into it.. sure i may have been good 4 years ago, but i feel like ive just wasted 4 years of my life that i could have spent becoming a more advanced drummer

My music teacher says if that when i go to uni i should go get a drum teacher and that he knows if i practice through uni i can do a post degree drum course... he may be right but i have absolutely no inspiration at the moment... right now my kit is upstairs in my room covered with clothes.. a skin on my high tom is broken and all my sticks are in disrepair. I take one look at it and turn back around and walk downstairs again. I dont know what to do. How can i get my inspiration back? How can i forget about the 4 years ive wasted and start fresh? I dont even know if my hand grip is right anymore... when i think of my drums it depresses me.. I need to change that, a few months ago i seriously considered giving up after my failure to get into a conservatoire. I used to love my drums more than anything and i know this has been nothing but my fault.. but i dont know what to do. Please help

/Paul