We all have to start somewhere. I've been on and off (mainly off) since I was a teenager. Just got a nice large set and starting to read sheet music. I've always played by ear but I want to learn how to read sheet music. Anyway, don't be afraid to hit the heads. Unless they're really cheap, they won't bust. Smack the **** out 'em.
Here's a good link on how to read music:
Tomás Howie Drumming Web - Home
Also, go onto youtube and type in 'drumming tips'. Alot of good stuff out there. One thing that's frustrating to new drummers is that "my sounds don't sound like what I'm hearing on the CD". Of course not. Whoever your listening to had the track made digitally mastered in a studio. Most of us don't have studios. We have garages, basements, other rooms in the house, etc... Neil Peart, Lars Ulrich, Terry Bozzio, Dave Weckl and others all got their kits when they were pretty much kids. They all started from the very beginning. You have to crawl before you can walk. Walk before you can run. And run before you can sprint.
It's like going hunting and having that monster 10pt. buck in your sights but your afraid to shoot. Why have the gun and why go hunting then???
Best of luck to ya!