[butter]

Hey everybody. I play drums in the choir at my church. It's more of a band/choir, two guitars, a bass, sometimes piano. There is also a kid who plays violin. I play only bass and snare with hats and ride for this because I just don't need the toms for music we play right now.

We have only had the second guitar, bass, and myself for 3-4 months (the violin guy has been playing with them for longer than I have, I just recently acquired drums to use at church and before I just sang), so the music is still pretty traditional. It hasn't become modernized at all, and I don't know whether it will. That is fine with me, I'm just playing to complement the music and get some experience singing and playing at the same time.

Anyway, the guy who plays violin is no longer allowed to play whenever I play. His parents disapprove of drums and don't want his playing associated with it. While this doesn't really offend me, I am very surprised. I don't live in a community with crazy old values or anything! I guess it's just this guy's parents, but I don't like it. I want him to be able to play with me and the rest of the band. He contributes a lot to the music and he deserves to play as much or more than I do.

We decided to switch off for each mass so that we could both have a chance to play, but like I said before, if we were able to play together, the music would be that much better. I would understand if my playing were obnoxious and inappropriate, but I play at a low enough volume and what I consider tasteful. I have received many compliments from different people in the congregation to support this. Also, I'm not sure the violinist's parents have ever heard me play. I have never met them or anything, but if they have indeed never listened to my drumming in church, I would like to invite them to a mass I would be playing at (I think they go to a different church when I play). I think if after they hear me and realize that I am not taking away from the sanctity of the experience or anything, they will allow their son to play, or not (in which case I will not pursue it any more).

Has this happened to anybody else in any way? Have you ever offended somebody with your playing? Do you have any other suggestions on what to do?

Thanks, and sorry for the plethora of background info.

[Der Trommler]

Butter, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I know it is a bummer that another musician is missing his opportunity to play but there is nothing you are going to do or say that will change his parents opinion. Judging on the fact that he plays a violin (and clearly because his parents steered him that way) my guess would be his parents don't think there is any place for a drumset in classical (or choir) music.

Close mindedness breeds ignorance, stupidity and hate. With any luck his parents won't push this kid so hard they drive him out of their lives when he is old enough to leave.

[Gus]

I am restricting my self of talking about religion, besides left handed women, Amish and...
also If they are satanic they have influenced us in a positive way, to help other peoples drum problems.

Basically there is always years to come.


Also DO NOT mention left handed women to the parents.

[S.A.L.]

You are called to worship.
Your gift is expressed percussively.
Your church is progressing.
You should help lead the congregation in worshipping, the best to your ability, and allow the close minded folk to miss out on what God is doing in your church.
Pray for them.

[drumtech]

Originally Posted by Der Trommler

Butter, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I know it is a bummer that another musician is missing his opportunity to play but there is nothing you are going to do or say that will change his parents opinion. Judging on the fact that he plays a violin (and clearly because his parents steered him that way) my guess would be his parents don't think there is any place for a drumset in classical (or choir) music.

Close mindedness breeds ignorance, stupidity and hate. With any luck his parents won't push this kid so hard they drive him out of their lives when he is old enough to leave.

Butter - I agree with Der Tommler, do not worry about this person's parents.

I would suspect that their parents either have a predisposed position against their kid performing music that incorporates drums and percussion (genre issues), or has philosophical and religious views against percussion (and other instruments) used in liturgical or religious gatherings. I.E. - in the Southern USA Domination of the Church of Christ (Disciples) - not to be confused with the United Church of Christ, whose doctrine is more akin to Methodist - have rules and covenants that any kind of played instrument is against Church doctrine/covenants (including piano and organ), so they sometimes move weddings and so on to non-church property. But C of C (Disciples) may use pre-recorded music and video equipment (recording and play-back) in their services - it's very confusing.

Nothing will change this kids parent's minds, but it is good that they are being exposed to other styles of music (I assume the kid is on hand, though not playing, on the other pieces).

[butter]

Der Trommler-
Never considered that his instrument may have been chosen for him... Of course, who chooses violin?! I guess that's a good indicator.

Gus-
I almost think they are Amish, or something of that sort. I totally agree about the left handed women

Sal-
Thanks for the support.

Drumtech-
I have heard about those churches, who don't allow instruments at all. Confusing indeed. I'm glad I don't have to deal with anything that extreme right now, otherwise I wouldn't even consider making an attempt at fixing it

[Pyrochazm]

Ha! my wife is left-handed.

And I think ostracizing any particular instrument over another to be the silliest thing I have heard in a long time.

[pearlygates]

Originally Posted by S.A.L.

You are called to worship.
Your gift is expressed percussively.
Your church is progressing.
You should help lead the congregation in worshipping, the best to your ability, and allow the close minded folk to miss out on what God is doing in your church.
Pray for them.

^^^This^^^

[Gus]

I believe if something was satanic it will always be, so I believe drums / music was never.

[Gus]

Originally Posted by Pyrochazm

Ha! my wife is left-handed.

And I think ostracizing any particular instrument over another to be the silliest thing I have heard in a long time.

She might not have luck joining the army.