Ha,ha, do'nt you love this thread!
Well, of course I am one, according to all the symptons described before.
As for the relationships, I noticed that my wife's "radar" gets extra sensative when she is at the gig I am playing and ( this happens quite a bit) some of the ladies in the audience pay "undue" attention to me.
With undue I mean, trying to make eye contact during play, and introducing themselves in the break, or/and stand really close

, or ask if I would like her to get a drink for me!

Later I get questions from my wife like "what did she want" or "where do you know her from?" etc.
You can avoid all of these situations by becoming a bass player, then you only gaze at your navel (through your guitar) and the lack of social skills

will further prevent you from getting into trouble.
By the way, I have only married once and that's 36 years ago!
Cheers and happy drumming
Harry