"Making it big" as a drummer (as you put it) is hard. I mean it's really, really hard. But I'm sure you already know that. My one goal used to be making it big, but after awhile, my focus shifted to just making a living.
There are three pieces of advice that I usually give. They may seem obvious, but these are things I very rarely see people actually do:
1. Make yourself available. Someone touched on this as well and suggested that you get a book about business marketing and that is some pretty good advice. Have some business cards printed up. You can get card stock for your printer and some software that will allow you to print them yourself for pretty cheap. It is very important to appear professional. Put your business cards everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Post "drummer available" ads on Craigslist or on local online musician forums, if you have any.
Also, you may have to play for free sometimes to meet people...but ONLY if you have a chance of making good connections. You don't want to be known as the guy who will play for free. Some bars and venues in my town have "open jam nights". These aren't open mic nights (I would avoid those, if I were you), but musician meet-ups where they just show up and play whatever comes to mind. I've met some great musicians that way and even gotten some gigs out of it (which is the end goal, anyway). If you get any gig offers that way, though, make it very clear that you won't play for free.
2. Be versatile. Learn as much about every style of music possible. It really annoys me to see postings on musician boards like "Metal drummer available" or "Country drummer looking for gigs". If you're just playing for fun, that's one thing, but if you expect to make money then why limit yourself? I play metal. And I play country. I also play jazz, rock, funk, Latin, punk, polka, afro-cuban, etc.
You mentioned that you want to join a band, and that's ok. But I, as a working (read: struggling
) musician don't expect to make much money, if any, when joining a band. I tend to make much more money with session work. This is typically one-off or short term gigs.
Now, it's possible to make decent money in a steady band, but I haven't been able to do it just yet... at least not consistently. The trick, though, is private parties. Venues won't pay you a whole lot until you're established. That is, people will come to the venue just to see your band. That takes awhile. Private parties are where the money is, especially weddings. People expect to spend way too much money at weddings, so you can easily make $200 a person. If you a large band, your own PA, someone who can MC and will learn a song or two specifically for the gig (like for a first dance or a father-daughter dance) you can double or triple that.
Also, it the some vein, be willing to accept paying gigs if you are "less than enthusiastic" about the music, if it pays. And pretend that you like it. The reasons for that should be obvious.
3. Be prepared. Again, this sounds obvious, but it needs to be included. Show up to auditions, rehearsals and (especially) the gig knowing your stuff backward and forward. If you have an audition (or rehearsal) be sure to get a list of music and recordings beforehand. Listen to it constantly and make drum charts. If you have an audition, remember that these guys have probably been playing together for a very long time and if anything goes wrong, they will know that it's your fault...so stay on your toes.
There is one more thing that I will highly suggest. When you are at a gig or a rehearsal, remember that you are getting paid. Therefore you are effectively at work. Show up on time, be prepared to stay late (if need be) and stay sober. No alcohol, no drugs...not even pot. Now, it you're at an open jam or a show with your band at a club that may be different (but not for me). Just always remember, you never know who may be watching. Personally, I don't touch alcohol or anything else if I'm going to be playing my drums (in ANY capacity) in the next 24 hours. That's just a rule that I have.
I hope my advice has been useful.